I got here an hour and a half ago and I still haven’t done anything terribly productive. I should be finalizing my UW application and emailing my recommenders about deadlines and instead I’m reading reviews of 25, which I haven’t even listened to.
Advent is coming but it feels like I’ve been sitting in perpetual Advent for months now, waiting and sending applications into the void and preparing to send applications into the void and generally fretting about the void. In the middle of my task-avoidance I rediscover this prayer, and remember reading it with Katie last August. I think about all the people I wish I had thought to send it to at different moments over the past year—and then realize: DUH. Maybe I should stop forcing it on other people and let it apply to myself for a bit.
I’m taking a break from my internet-browsing to sit here in the library and look at the light coming in all the glass windows. Across the street they’re doing work on the Hoover factory, which seems scrappy and forlorn with half its windows boarded over and stripped of its smokestack. I think I’m feeling real, fierce affection for it for the first time in my life.
sandpiper 